No Apologies

I found this hiding in my drafts from over a year ago. I found it fascinating and so I'm posting.

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I refuse to apologize for...

Reading Twilight
Sometimes taking pictures of my food

Believing in stuff

NOT believing in stuff

Being cold
Not being able to tell cars apart
Living in a room that looks like a library
Saying no

Having billions of Firefox tabs open at a time
Sleeping in when there's nothing else to do

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I don't know what possessed me to write that list, but it's a pretty good one. It just reminded me (in a pretty timely way at this transitional point in my life) that we are always judging, aren't we? Most times the judgment is arbitrary. And sometimes the judgment matters. The key is distinguishing between the two. I can't tell you how many times I've heard someone say in incredulity/disgust/ridicule, "Who does that?" only to think in my head, "Well, me." And we're not talking serial killing, people. We're talking reading the occasional stupid book or not showering everyday. (I shower when I need to. This is rarely everyday, unless I've been exercising everyday. Which...HAH.)

For that category, I say: So what? Who cares?

And then there's another category of things that I am willing to apologize for. Sometimes it's apologizing to others, sometimes to myself. And the thing is...I'm realizing it's okay to be there, even though it's also incredibly painful. It's okay to be in a position of apology or regret. It means that I'm human, just the way grace reminds me that I am also divinely loved. What a beautiful thing. And here's an impressive nugget that bowled me over today when it occurred to me: You can't "fall from grace." Just into it. That's the point--it is freely given, unmerited. The idiom is a myth; grace doesn't get taken away when you mess up. That's what makes it amazing (!). And that's also why I can still live a life of victory after a miserable failure. Glory hallelujah, y'all.

Anyway. What's on your "no apologies" list? Come on, I know you have one.